Review: Why Army of Two (360) Sucks

aot.pngThe overall aiming mechanic is *very* poor. I don’t expect PC-level ease, but at least something on par with the Tom Clancy games is necessary to make a console shooter fun. Both me and my buddy commented on this suckage right from the start. AoT also suffers from poor pacing. Remember how in Serious Sam they would spawn an insane amount of identical enemies in a large space and you’d fight them off for, like, 15 minutes? Yeah… expect some of that. On the plus side, after you clear an area you’ll be treated with the gong sound ripped straight off the Gears of War disc. (Now that you have your GoW disc out, why not put it in the drive instead?)

In single player mode, your AI buddy has a severe learning disability. He doesn’t make great decisions on when/where to heal you, or even where to drag you. When told to advance aggressively, he’ll pretty much clean house while you check your iPhone email. Using the aggro meter to a planned strategic advantage is pretty much impossible. Update: That’s really only true in the easy mode or easier parts. In certain difficult sections–especially in the hardest mode–closely controlling aggro for your AI buddy is necessary and useful.

Multi-player campaign co-op fairs only slightly better. All the special BFF moves you saw in the trailer can only be done at specific, pre-defined points along IKEA-like map paths. “Step jump” is a completely useless gimick which contributes nothing to the game except to serve as a trigger to spawn baddies. The team skydiving thing is… retarded. So one person snipes from the air. Cool.. except the other person “steers”. That’s… great. Co-op sniping on the ground is also worthless. The Max Payne-esque back-to-back mode would be awesome if you could choose when/where to do it, but you can’t… sooooo, lamX0r.Overkill, feign death, weapon upgrading and the aggro meter are actually useful strategic elements. The placement of large gun turrets throughout the game was clearly done to force teamwork and render any Leroy Jenkins types useless. Periodic encounters with enemies that can only be damaged from behind also provide a clever way of leveraging the aggro system. Unfortunately, you always use the same basic strategy of “I’ll fire at his shield to draw aggro while you walk up to him and shoot him in the butt.” The repetition gets old fast.

Oh, and I swear if I see one more BFF door opening cutscene I’m eating my controller and letting my stomach acid play the game for me. You opened a door together for the 30th time! YAY TEAM!!!

Conclusion: Rent only if you’re planning on playing with a friend. Otherwise continue getting your fix with GRAW2, RS: Vegas or Gears of War.

27 thoughts on “Review: Why Army of Two (360) Sucks”

  1. Preston, great review. I’m really glad I bought this.

    I’m going to leave the amazon box closed and just drop it right-the-fuck-back in the mail.

    You saved me $60 dude, thanks!

  2. Haha, Karen is so right.

    Seriously though, I was all excited looking at the trailers then realized I probably can’t play it on a Wii. Good thing, right?

  3. yea, too bad i fucking already bought the game, i was pissed at how bad it was. it seems like they just copied a lot of stuff from other games… like you said the gong sound, the grenade detector like cod, also their stupid version of “sliding” into the wall like gow. i also hate how you turn invisible and the other guy turns red… makes it look even cheesier… id rather have to look at another meter than look at my guy glowing red. this game really blows, online sucks too.

  4. Plus, anyone who bases their decisions on anyones review is a tool. Try a game out on your own before you decide whether you hate it or not.

    (That’s what the rental system is for)

  5. Whoever thinks this game is cool probably PAID for the game and making every excuse to TRY to like it cause if you do return it, you’ll only get half of what you paid. God I hate this game with a passion.

  6. yeah! my friend bought this game and hes like OH I LOVE THIS GAME EVEN THOUGH I DONT PLAY IT! people just say they like it cause they dont want to tell themselves that they wasted money.
    this game is really gay. Rainbow six vegas 2 all the way!
    Army of Two, along with halo 3, was the biggest game dissapointment EVER.

  7. Man This Game SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!

    for the full price of 60 dollars the area you can access is very small when compared to other games of less price. in a real life situation you would be able to choose more than one route into any buliding, here you are forced to take the same route over and over. Firing from cover is almost usless since you wont hit anyone unless you get lucky but the oponants can hit from anywhere any time and the worst thing is no way to replenish grenades which totally sucks!! what soldier wouldnt carry more than 3 and if you can replenish your ammo why not grenades too?

    I am soooo glad I’m not the only one who feels they wasted there money, this game is nothing more than repetitive aggivation. I want to beat both the clerk who recomended it and the idiots who made this piece of shite!!

  8. I swear some people standards are way to high…

    A lot of you make the comment that it takes thigns from other games, so what? thats how it works, good game mechanics are copied all the time, the granade indicator nicked? Thats a good thing u total bum chum! Really it seems at this moment in time everyone wants every game to make a revelation, fucking wake up, it aint possible. The game is awesome, ive played it though by myself and numerous times with friends, tbh if you dont like it, it just makes me think you dont have friends to play with!

    The games nowhere near perfect, but nothing is. Some things need work but the game overall is great. 9/10 at least, and one that deserver’s it, not like that crap fest Halo

  9. I have already beaten this game on professional with my son, I have 4 years military training and this game is nothing like the real thing.

    1., the players should be able to actually devise a plan of action that does not depend on repeating the same method over and over until you fianlly get it. I have played lesser games with far more accessable space than this.

    2. each mission starts you with a full ammo clip but if you use all your granades on the last mission you may only end up with one lousy granade for the next mission and mid mission shopping does not offer a way to buy granades. that is just stupid, also you cannot buy more rockets either.

    3.The cut scenes are terrible and the back to back mode is bullshit! and why doesnt the game offer you mid mission shopping before you actually start the mission instead of waiting until you make a move to do the mission ? it totally takes away from the experience.

    4. in the real world you can shoot thru glass and even though I know there are few places in the game where glass will break there are too any places where it wont. this is key for sniping. there is no real cover and the ai’s see you anyway no matter how far away you are. stupid.

    5. how do the ai enimies have such great aim when firing blind from cover. the stick the gun up over the edge and wham you’re down! I dont care how good you are with a weapon there is no way you’re gonna make a head shot when you aint lookin!

    6. the srcipt is terrible and the stupid shit they do when you give props to your partner is lame. craphead craphead craphead!!

    7. why can I not kill enimies quickly when I run right up on there position? I have seen the bullets go right by the body even though the cross hairs are keyed in.

    8. overkill sucks!
    how can empty my clip into an ai and still not do anything except put myself in a bad position. and you may say Im not usung the right weapons but you cant get thru evey mission with a shotgun.

    and this is the biggest screwing of all is!!

    in order to unlock all the weapons I need to have an xbox live account! WTF ! I have already spent 60 bucks to play this shitty game why should I or more to the point why would I spent more REAL money just to unlock the rest of the weapons to play the same frickin game again?

    for 60 friggin bucks with a anothe rprice to pay later for xbox live you better believe i want a revelation and It deoesnt matter who you play this game with its the same evey time.

    I give this game a 5 out of 10,

    ps. ever play rouge spear? way better game just for the stealth factor alone and it came out a million years ago.

  10. Man I hate this game! Me and my brother beat this game the other day. The only reason I played it all the way through, was just for the achievement points. I wanted to burn this game several times. Endless enemys!!!!! WTF?! The gun accuracy sucks. Execpt for the enemy’s. I got shot by a shotgun from like 30 ft. away and it’s an almost fatal shot. The game doesn’t really even look that good. Although the cutscenes look really good. The story is really stupid. You finally get to the last boss, you kill him, and the guys are like “I hope he’s dead.” How stupid is that? Then you think there is another boss battle but the computer kills him for you.
    I’m taking this game today and trade it in towards GTA4.
    I give this game a 5.5/10.

  11. Ok i can understand what tommyboy said about using previously used content from other video games, that has set many standerds for video games like auto aim for 3rd person shooters, day and night tatics on Strategy games, and even limited weapons on first person shooters so you don’t carry like 100 guns in your ass. But when you have a crappy game that restricts you from doing things only at certain times, has bullet proof glass every other corner and an AI has the sense of a cheeta and is harder to kill than a rock that’s not just a disappointment for a high hoped game, it’s a spit in the face. That’s like telling a kid you’ll get him a bike if he does good in school then you tell him to get it himself with this A+ career he’s gonna get. Don’t sit here and try to defend a game can be used as toliet paper. 5/10 bleh!

  12. thx alot i was just about to by Army of Two 2 day but instead im gonna buy the much respected Gears of Wars

  13. I ended up getting this game for free and I still feel that I overpaid. Everything is this review is spot on but one more thing…the guns fucking suck. No matter what gun you buy and how many upgrades you get for it you can’t hit anyone and even when you do they never seem to die. There was one point where a guy was running across the screen, took 3 desert eagle shots, fell down, and then got back up like nothing happened. Even the SAW machingun at point blank barely does any damage. You almost need to have rocket launchers but you only get 3 rounds for those. Also the aiming if FUCKING MUTILATED! The crosshairs pan so S L O W l Y that hitting a moving target becomes virtually impossible. This game is essentially a Gears of War ripoff that takes every element of what makes that game great and covers it in dog shit. Don’t even rent this game.

  14. @mccain

    GoW is still a great game that you can get for dirt cheap. Also keep an eye out for GoW 2 this Christmas… it’s looking to be even *better*!

  15. Omg its just a funny game to play co-op, better than playing gears or halo on co-op. Just a great coop game, what are you guys complaining?

  16. @ zo, gears of war is a ripoff from real live, where every soldier is using cover..SO THAT’S A FUCKING BAD ARGUMENT, SAYING THAT SOMETHING IS A RIPOFF

  17. This game is awesome! Sure the story’s a bit short, but it’s great for co-op. Grenades ARE replenishable, but they are a “rare drop”. And I read somewhere that the graphics are shitty… THE GRAPHICS LOOK PRETTY FUCKING REAL TO ME!!!
    This IS how contracters work, the AI is pretty intelligent, AND, EA is not “ripping off” other games, so just back off.

  18. DISAPPOINTNING GAME

    A LOT OF THE SCENES THAT EA SHOWED IN THE TRAILER DOES NOT APPEAR IN THIS GAME, LIKE THE COOP ROPE USING, OR THE BUGGIE CAR, THE HOVERCRAFT IN THE SAND (BY THE WAY THE HOVERCRAFT SUCKS REALLY BAD) OR TURNING UP CERTAIN STRUCTURES FOR TAKING COVER, THE BAD GUYS LOOK SO DAMN… I DONT KNOW… THEY JUST SUCK WHEN THEY DIE BY A MELEE ATTACK THEY JUST FLY AWAY WITH ARMS WIDE OPEN.
    THE PARTNER’S AI SUCKS,THE GAME ITS TO DAMN SHORT, AND THERE’S ALMOST NOBODY PLAYING THIS ONLINE FOR OBVIOUS REASONS. SORRY GUYS BUT THIS GAME ISNT WHAT THEY SHOWED UP IN THE PUBLICITY.
    THE GRAPHICS LOOKS GREAT IN A PLASMA TV BUT THIS GAME HAS PLENTY OF OTHER THINGS THAT REALLY DO.

    EA LIED TO US AGAIN, KEEP DOING SPORTS AND RACING GAMES CUZ THIRD PERSON SHOOTER AINT YOUR STUFF

  19. This is probably the worst game I have ever played. I don’t own a 360 but I have it for the PS3. When I barely move the analog stick, the cross hair goes halfway across the screen and I get shot by the enemy. The guns suck too. This is a 3/10 game I think. Somehow it got a good revew on IGN and other websites. It’s garbage! Don’t spend your money on it!

  20. DONT BE FOOLED: THIS GAME IS ASS. Totally, totally sucks.
    Thank god for gamefly!!!
    There’s not even a need to go into detail – IT ALL SUCKS.
    Old graphics, old ideas. Dont bother – dont even rent, thats a queue space lost.

  21. Yah, My Friend Says That This Cheap-Ass Game Is A Terrible Game, Now Fallout 3, Now That’s Fun, In fact, We Chopped Up The Instructions Booklet For Army Of Two In A Metal Bladed Fan At Full Speed. Lol.

  22. Your right. THIS GAME SUCKS DONKEY BALLS. I had more fun reading your review about it than playing it for a single second. EVEN A NON GAMER COULD TELL THIS GAME A.K.A PIECE OF CRAP WAS TERRIBLE.

    DON’T BUY THIS GAME…………you’ll be sorry.

  23. Lol all of you who posted saying”the guns suck tryyou cant hit anything” try to aim and see how that does. This game is a great co_op adventure. The aggro system was awesome. I toom my uncharted games along with the call of duty games and threw them out because this game is better . And when psn got hacked i got smart and bought a 360 and gladly paid 50 bucks for xbox live gold.

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