I Bought A Grill At Walmart

Yes, I know, so you can withhold your scorn in the satisfaction that I’ve been promptly punished by the powers that be.

Upon initial assembly of my new $25 *Deluxe* propane grill, I assumed that the small Chinese boy manning the “‘L’ washer” machine at the grill factory simply hadn’t received adequate training from HR during the sweatshop orientation process. Or maybe he’s a union kid and was on a smoke break.. Or perhaps felt like leaving out the sixteenth washer in the knowledge that some American chump would eventually rifle though every inch of packaging looking for the part that never existed.

Approximately 2/3rds through assembly, I came to the realization that the shrink-wrapped parts smell funny: a contagious-like biological odor that I imagine a despair machine must smell like. While thinking about koala bears was much more fun than trying to remember what SARS stands for, I was brought back to sadness when I realized that Mr. NoPaidOvertime Jr. also left out a ‘C’ washer. GREAT. This wan’t going well and I still had a handful of parts left on the table.

Assembly completed. Wait… Nevermind, back to step six to add the metal thing to the other metal thing.

Assembly completed? Yes! And then, suddenly… EXISTENTIAL CLARITY.

This is, without a doubt, the worst grill I have ever bought, used, fondled and, possibly, ever set my eyes upon. It is not merely a poor devise, but in strong contention for *poorest* device. It is as if an investor found an abandoned warehouse of unrelated parts and had to decide between making radiators, fire extinguishers, or grills. The feet that are supposed to fold the damn thing into a tidy ball of grill were bent in six different ways out of the box, and the handle clearly didn’t come out of the sadness-injection machine correctly.

The whole supply chain here is crap. It’s not just the factory, but design, delivery, retail, economics, ethics.. Everything about this product and the devil spawn it came from is horrible for America. Is this news? No. But we all need a periodic reminder that the crap we habitually clamor for isn’t doing us any favors.

Please don’t shop at Walmart.

One thought on “I Bought A Grill At Walmart”

  1. I guess I’m torn on this issue. Why is Walmart the only one to blame? I’d be willing to bet that Target and other retailers sell this or another cheap grills that are just as bad. There was a reason it was only $25, and i guess this is it. I’ve had the same frustrations on the toys my kids get at Christmas, that had nothing to do with Walmart, but were from the same Chinese sweatshop. I get the “Walmart is the devil” argument for some categories, but not for groceries (for example). When the same exact item made by trusted U.S. brands are cheaper at Walmart, I don’t understand why they are the bad guy. They sell with a smaller margin and don’t charge suppliers for ads, displays, new items, etc. All others do. I sell grocery items to Walmart among others so I know this to be fact. The problem is that we get what we pay for, and Walmart seems to be the face of cheap stuff. That is good for people who want cheap stuff, and bad for the ones that don’t.

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